Single and loving it, or at least convincing myself that I am

I had a pretty great weekend. Friday I just hung out but Saturday I went to In the Loop for their knit and chat time from 10-12. It was so much fun! I haven't laughed that hard since being in Foxboro. The women were great and welcoming and helpful. And a few invited me to their knitting group Wed night at a local starbucks. So I actually have plans, with new people! I left feeling soo good about myself. Then did a bit of shopping of course, spending way too much money. Went to patriot's place to check it out and walk around in the sun. Got some stuff at bath and body works, including bubble bath to pamper myself after I clean the bathroom. I also got some new running shoes so I really have no excuse not to start working out in the morning. It's so nice out in the morning it would put me in such a great mood. Stopped at Shaw's and then back to the apartment to chill, knit and make dinner. Ended up being a pretty good night.

Then Sunday I went to church in the morning, and already got asked to help out with the youth group. I don't get it I must have a becon on my head for church people. But it did feel good to be wanted again. The church seems nice, congregational and more young families but not sure I'm going to find a 20 something church. Then went to Ikea with Laura and we got some more furniture for our apartment and spent the night putting it together.

Everything was going great, I felt good being single. Even in the morning I talked with Tom online about growing up and out of a relationship and being ok with being single, it was all good. But then he ended up coming over Sunday night and it just reminded me that he wasn't a guy I loved it was a pretend situation. I'm not sure if that or sleeping alone is more lonely. To be unsatisfied and hurt or being really alone. It's nice to get rid of the sexual itch and have someone to talk to about all this, but only having half a guy in the capacity is just like dating Peter. I feel like right now I should pick all or nothing but do I really want to give up sex? It's like I keep taking two steps forward and one step back.

Tom and Travis might come over tonight, maybe we can make it a weekly thing to get together for dinner. I'll have Monday - Rotational Engs, Tuesday - Trivia, Wednsday - Knitting group. It will feel good to have a busy schedule with fun people and things. Everything is coming together.